The Ups and Downs of Orthodoxy

The Maimonides Fellowship that I'm doing is about fostering relations within the Jewish Community, which I completely agree with. Because the Jewish population is very small and historically has faced a lot of outside opposition, I think we could benefit from fewer prejudices and misunderstandings within. As part of the program, this weekend myself and the other dozen members of the class attended an Orthodox Jewish Shabbos, joining an observant family in their home in St. Louis Park from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday.

This is what we did:

-myself, Stephanie (1), and Mirena arrived at the Murray's home and played with Menachem and Avrami while Fagi finished up dinner and Yacov went to Shul (temple)

-the three of us from the class ate with their family, and Yacov's parents. the food was incredible and there was a lot of it (see sample shabbat meal menu). during the meal Yacov's father made some interesting observations about the state of the world and the jewish calendar (2)

-afterwards, all the members in the class met at rabbi cohen's house, to relax for a bit before a discussion (3)

-around 1 am Mirena and I went home and talked for a couple hours before falling asleep

-saturday at noon we went to another family's home for another very large meal, interspersed with singing and talking(4)

-then in the afternoon i snuck some text messages(5) and took a nap

-finally, we headed upstairs for a light dinner and the havdalah(sp?) ceremony, which signifies the end of shabbat

Sample shabbat meal menu:

First Course-challah, salad, other salad, optional third salad, hummus, and probably olives, horseradish, and egg salad

Second Course-chicken, beef, stew, some kind of veggie pie something, some kind of sweet dessert pie, and probably a noodle option

Dessert-slice of cake or brownie

(all kosher, of course)

These are some of the thoughts I'm thinking:

(1) Converting to Orthodox Judaism because you have a crush on a boy is such a bad idea. This girl is head over heels for a cute, quite self righteous boy who is forbidden to touch girls. Why the hell would you want to date someone who you can't accidentally bump into, much less hold hands with, kiss, or fuck? Furthermore, why the hell would you want to join a community that prohibits you to touch members of the opposite sex ever. The counter argument here says that this tradition ensures people are valued for their intellect and personality rather than their bodies. And my counter counter argument is that people should have the autonomy to enjoy and prioritize looks and personality on their own.

(2) Apparently, both 9/11 and the current financial crash happened close to the end of the Jewish Year, at a time when many jews of varying levels of observance are praying for forgiveness and relief. Yacov's father, who had been studying this connection believes this is because God is turning the hatred of the world away from the jews (and instead to the arabs, or the bankers) as an answer to these prayers. Personally, I would rather hatred be eradicated than redirected. And I think rewriting history so that it corresponds with your religion (orthodox judaism, evangelicalism, my father's brand of republicanism...) encourages ignorance and intolerance.

(3) One of the things I really do enjoy about the orthodox community, and to a lesser extent the jewish community, is that you are ALWAYS welcome. Unlike in real life, where sometimes you don't fit at a particular party, you might not be dressed right, no one understands the joke you made, etc- you always belong here. It is really really nice to be able to spend a Friday night at home without having to feel like you should be out, and it is really really nice to spend time with other people who want to have interesting discussions. This kind of acceptance is harder to find in secular society, and that's kind of a shame.

(4)I couldn't sing! Everyone was singing, and it was fun, and someone had given me a book to sing along with (I thought) and then Stephanie poked me, hard, and told me I wasn't supposed to sing. So I told her that was dumb and kept singing, but a little more quietly. After we finished I asked Rabbi Cohen's wife if Stephanie was right, and she explained that as women, part of preserving our modesty in front of men is to not beautify our voices in mixed company. Which is probably the dumbest thing ever. I'm not modest! I'm the opposite of modest! Screw modesty. And screw my life being dictated by rules that men wrote. And screw women who subscribe to and enforce those rules. I shouldn't have to feel stupid or ashamed for enjoying myself ever.

(5) Text messages during an orthodox shabbos must be snuck because you can't do work on the day of rest. Work means anything creative, or anything that you do during the week at your job. My cell phone falls under this category because its electronic and lights up, and creating light is a form of work.

In Conclusion:

Exploring vastly different lifestyles is interesting and at times enjoyable, but understanding the reality of the rest of the world and valuing equal rights for everybody is probably more important.