On The Bus

There was a boy reading 300. So I sat down next to him and asked him if he’d read it before and if he’d seen the movie. It was his first time throught the book, but he had seen the film and thought it was about as kickass as I think it is. And then we scoped out each other’s comic awarenesses- Sin City? Yeah, Alan Moore? Definitly- Lost Girls. Howbout Watchmen? Yup. And then he introduced me to a new one! Persepolis, the story of a modern Iraqi girl who’s parents send her to school in Austria to keep her safe during the iraq-Iran War, is a wonderful peek at the lives and values of ordinary Iraqi civilians, who for the most part want the same exact things as us. I saw the film and thought it was delightful, and at this point I’ve only glanced through the book but it looked to be even better (which, of course, books always are).

There was a crazy woman driving. She is like a human bus rules loudspeaker. PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP AS YOU GET ON THE BUS. She said this to each of the three people getting on. This, word for word every time, and loud. To the second person- PLEASE REINSERT YOUR TRANSFER. I took my seat. 22ND AND FRANKLIN. PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP AS YOU GET ON THE BUS. LIGHTRAIL. PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP AS YOU GET ON THE BUS. HENNEPIN. PLEASE... Seriously? At the next stop somebody stood up and walked to the front, as the bus was stopping and she met him with a booming SIR. YOU MAY NOT STEP IN FRONT OF THE YELLOW LINE WHILE THE BUS IS IN MOTION. Her voice was loud enough to blow him back across the line. Fucking Crazy woman. And this kept up for each of the next stops, until I finally escaped with a final HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

There was a very nicely dressed woman, in all black with a fancy hat. She was talking to herself about God, and redemption, and faith and it was surprising because she looked really well off, almost like she really was just coming from church, and generally people talking to themselves seem like they have other issues too. Five minutes of impromptu sermons later, she said that she was a monkey. So I guess she did have some issues, despite being really well dressed.

The crazy woman again! This time was no good- somebody ignored her PLEASE REINSERT YOUR TRANSFER and moved towards the back without paying without paying. MISS. I NEED YOU TO PLEASE REINSERT YOUR TRANSFER. The girl didn’t like this much and told the crazy woman to stop yelling at her so she could look for some cash. The crazy woman informed her that THE BUS CANNOT MOVE UNTIL EVERYONE IS SEATED. So the girl blew up at her. She screamed just as loud as the bus driver! She was like I Need You To Stop Screaming In My Ear So I Can Pay For Your Goddamn Bus And Sit My Ass Down. Do You Think You Can Give Me A Fucking Second To Get My Shit Together Or Not? MISS. WE CANNOT ALLOW CURSING ON METROTRANSIT BUS LINES. Yeah. That didn’t go over well either. Huge public fights are really not my thing, and I don’t understand how other people do them either. But I guess it was entertaining, basically watching Jerry Springer the bus edition live.

Maybe not as entertaining, but much more satisfying:

Apparently, the driver had been trying to clean off his glasses for a few stops, because a passenger in the front leaned forward and said, “Hey do you need a glasses rag?” and offered him his.

“Wow thanks man, that’s really been bothering me.”

“Yeah no problem.”

“Well, much appreciated,” the bus driver said, and handed him back the rag.

I love it when people are nice and I get to see it.

There was a boy reading Ender’s Game. He had headphones on and I didn’t want to interrupt so we didn’t talk, but it was good to see all the same. Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card (for everyone who hasn’t read it), is so good that it will make you happy when you see complete strangers reading it.