Every single time I have worn a skirt in the past two or so weeks, someone has said something that I really did not need to hear. A bunch of guys at a bus stop whistled when I walked past. On campus, a guy shouted Hey at me after I'd already walked by, and then motioned with his finger that I should 'come here.' I received way more assistance than was necessary in a goddamned bookstore, for christ's sake. No, thank you, I do not need you to walk me to the book I'm looking for while telling me bad jokes. And yesterday while I was walking home someone driving past slowed down, honked, and watched me the whole time he was going past.
The worst part of this is that if it happens when I'm alone (which it usually does- no one hits on women who already have a male escort) I can't say anything back without endangering myself. Flipping off the guy who honks at you will probably make him think you need a lesson about how to take a compliment. So wearing a skirt means silently resigning myself to unwanted attention.
But not anymore!!! I found a solution!!! I made a patch. It says: Please don't insult me or other women by whistling or honking when we wear short skirts. More importantly, it says SOMETHING and in a way that's totally safe. I have presence again, because I can talk. And hopefully, some of those assholes will read it and realize that I'm not dressing up for them.
Because I am so not going to stop dressing up because of them.
4 comments:
if you're into folk music, ani difranco would hit you in stride quite well at this point in your life
he said ani, you've gotten tough
'cause my tone was curt
yeah, and when i'm approached in a dark alley
i don't lift my skirt
in this city
self-preservation
is a full time occupation
i'm determined
to survive on these shores
i don't avert my eyes anymore
in a man's world
i am a woman by birth
and after nineteen times around i have found
they will stop at nothing once they know what you are worth
talk to me now
i played the powerless
in too many dark scenes
and i was blessed with a birth and a death
and i guess i just want some say in between
don't you understand
in the day to day
in the face to face
i have to act
just as strong as i can
just to preserve a place
where i can be who i am
so if you still know how
talk to me now
so Greg's friend Tony's response that some girls LIKE that was pretty problematic to me but I wasn't sure how to reply. did you feel the same?
also, ani difranco is a goddess.
i feel like enjoying that kind of attention is a shame... you would only be happy some one 'complimented' you like that if you weren't expecting to be complimented. so i would argue that if all girls were raised to be more self confident and self assured, there would be far fewer who are flattered by honks and catcalls.
is that fair?
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